Today at my lunch with Steph, (I always get inspired to write when I have lunch with her) we talked about phobias and where/when they started or originated from. One of my major Phobias- Going underwater. For a very long time, I thought the problem came from my childhood but today, while talking to Steph we discovered it may come from a different source entirely. Weird? Well, You may not understand this but to me it is. I took a memory of a time I was playing with some friends in a pool and something sad happened later that day and I made it into a phobia.
The other night at youth group- A friend told a story about a situation in his life and how it was a "Huge burden"- What the group didn't know was that that huge burden was me? He repeated the phrase, "huge burden" about 5 different times... and then I found myself having a panic ATTACK! RIGHT THERE! Right in the middle of youth group! How can I solve this problem? I need to remember how to experience Grace- This guy obviously has forgived me and the only reason I am having a panic attack is because I have NOT forgiven myself. I need to rediscover the grace that God gives and then except it!
So- The goals for the next few months of my life. Grow closer to God. Rediscover grace. Deal with phobias that are actually suppressed tragedies. And LIVE THIS LIFE TO THE FULLEST :) Loving God and Bringing His kingdom!
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